When you’re following me on Instagram you’ve probably seen that I’ve been going through a lot the past couple of weeks. I’ve decided to take some time off and take care of myself in this chaotic time of my life.
As you know I’m all for being honest and real online and it wouldn’t be fair of me to not share the bad times too. Past weeks have been crazy, unexpected, chaotic, sad and super intense. A huge changing moment in my life. I’m doing good now, but it was one of the hardest things to go through. First of all we’ve got the news my mom’s boyfriend is sick. I don’t want to share too much about it, but it’s definitely something that has an impact on all of our family. Also I’ve been going through a break up. My boyfriend and I broke up, some of you may know we were living together in Rotterdam. There’s nothing but love between us, no fight, no angry feelings, but how sad it is to let each other go. It was the hardest thing to leave my safe place, my home. It hurt and it turned my world upside down.
I’ve been taking some time for myself to really be with myself. I gave myself some space and time to go through this all. What helped a lot during this period was to meditate. I’m using the free app from Zorgverzekeraar VGZ a lot with nice relaxing meditations like body scans and visualization meditations, so I can calm my restless mind and be more positive and present. With a bodyscan for example I can really come from my head into my body. I can literally feel more present in my body because of it. I often did this meditation before bed. I also like to do visualization meditations because it takes me to another space for a bit. And sometimes I’m just doing some breathing exercises to feel more calm. It’s so important to tune in, even if it’s only 3 minutes a day. We need silence in order to see clearly.
The break-up does feel as something good now. I always believe everything will go as it should go and even now when I literally have no home, I feel super grateful, light, free and supported. I feel supported by my family, my loving friends and the beautiful universe. I trust good things are coming my way. There’s a lot to process, there’s a lot changing at this moment, I will need some time to find my way but I’m rising. Even in the darkest times there’s so much light. There’s so much to be thankful for. Light and love is everywhere around you. I’ve noticed that following my intuition and following my heart opened so many new doors. I knew that for me breaking out of my comfort zone to go face the unknown was the best and only thing I could do. Even though it felt scary and overwhelming, I now feel the light is breaking through. I’m becoming more and more myself again and I’m reclaiming my power. I feel there’s a lot of strength inside of me and for the first time I feel like I’m enough. Like I have everything I need. Everything I need is inside me. And that’s when my true light started to shine again.
Thank you for reading this. Your support means the world to me. You are all so so loved and so appreciated. I’m grateful we are able to connect this way, that we can empower each other. I just want you to know that whatever’s going on in your life. You will rise. You are not alone. You are loved ♥️
